Let’s talk about how we navigate situations when some staff react to reasonable decisions and operating procedures within the co-op with heightened emotions, disproportionate criticism, and sometimes retaliatory efforts.
These situations can quickly escalate, leading to confusion, feelings of being overwhelmed, defensiveness, and discouragement.
This is a good time to slow down, take a breath, reflect, and get some perspective with which to navigate.
First, we can recognize that outsized reactions to reasonableness is often a sign that a staff person is struggling potentially with self-responsibility, structure and authority. Their stated reasons for their upset are usually not the true cause of their intense reaction.
The severity and velocity, so to speak, of the upset and emotional outburst is usually caused by deeper reasons and emotional habits in their personal life, which have formed over time.
We’re only seeing the tip of an iceberg of the many complexities that live within them. These patterns don’t form overnight, and they won’t disappear instantly.
So, what we are often involved in is a situation that has activated an emotional pattern in an individual that causes a non-appropriate, inflated, and out of proportion emotional response.
Good to know.
This frees us up to gain neutrality (not taking it personally), calm (knowing there’s nothing we can do to “fix” them) and objective (not pressed into taking a side of some sort). Now we have a good start to find stability in ourselves.
Next, I feel what we need to realize is that a person acting in a heightened emotional way is trying to shake-up and destabilize as many marbles as they can so as to rearrange them in a way they like better. Getting things worked up so they can run their program.
Our response? That neutral, calm, and objective response that we’ve worked hard to cultivate. In short, being stable.
While we can’t mandate reasonable behavior in others, we can, within our agency and authority, uphold a commitment to reasonable business interactions and solutions.
We’re in charge. We need to look closely to see if an employee’s negative behavior and emotionality is negatively impacting the co-op – sales, service, safety, brand.
If so, it is important to meet with them and provide clarity around performance and conduct expectations. You might ask, ” What are some specific things you can do to manage your upset, so it does not show up here at work as complaining to your peers 30 minutes a day?”
We can listen to staff concerns while recognizing that our reasonable, steady and measured response is key, especially when strong emotional winds are blowing.
We can’t make harsh criticism and over emotionality go away, however, we sure can be a steady and stable force that moves our co-op ship forward to calmer waters.