I hear something like this with some regularity…

“I’m at my wit’s end and am feeling really overwhelmed. I have a long-term staff person on my team whose conduct and performance are a real challenge.  They’ve been here a long time, and no one seems to have dealt with them before and now I have inherited this mess. This is so frustrating and sometimes I wonder if I should have taken this job to be a manager. How am I supposed to manage a long-standing problem this big?”

I think we can all relate to this kind of anguish.

So, the first thing we do is take a breath. 

Second, and this is key, we remind ourselves that we focus on managing one incident at a time and avoid believing we somehow have to solve the “long standing problem” all at once. 

Thirdly, we start wherever we are, not where we wish things were. If no one has ever clarified expectations, we start there. If it was always reminders with no follow-through, we follow-through. If coaching or performance correction warnings are the next step, we start there.

We let go of the past and start consistently moving forward step by step.

If something happens outside of expectations, we managethat current known incident.  Remember, we don’t address the whole “long standing problem” we address an incident – one at a time.

Be exact, factual, and neutral.  We’re informative in reporting what was observed or heard.  We explain how job expectations were not met and since we are just starting to manage their behavior, letting them know we are there to help them achieve success in getting there.

Then we stay with it one step after the next – one incident after the next…all the while moving the conversation along to more serious ground if things don’t correct. 

Managing doesn’t take clever superhuman insights and deep psychological tools.  It takes a willingness to be steady and grind the simple steps. 

From experience, I know we often get a lot of emotional reactiveness when we start to manage someone who has had it their way without accountability.

However, we don’t need to puff up, put on armor, and get ready for battle.

We don’t go in like the “law and the judge” who just arrived.If they have never been dealt with before, we’re actually breaking new ground in our relationship with this person.  Think of going into it as a helper, guide, or educator – giving them information on how to be successful at their job – this can go a long way to perhaps smooth things out. Remember clarity, neutrality, and grace.

You can do this…if I can do it… anyone can do it. 

Let’s not make these “long-standing problems” so big in our minds that we wait for some “big strategy” when we can get to work today, taking it step by step.