What’s the deal with emotions at work? As a manager should I show my emotions? Should I keep it all chill?  Just button it all up?
Here’s what I think.

Let’s say, for the sake of discussion, that emotions can be divided into 2 parts: push emotions and pull emotions.
Let’s call push emotions ones that express negativity toward a staff member for something that they’ve done.  “I’m really disappointed in you!”  “I’m so frustrated!”  “How could you mess up like this?”  “What were you thinking, we talked about this”.  These emotions push away the employee, make them feel bad and imply that the way to get back in our good graces is to change their behavior in order to not upset us. As a manager at work, these kinds of emotional expressions end up being controlling, manipulative and dispiriting. These “push emotions” give no guidance or direction. They don’t provide an employee with clarity on what to do.

Now, what we call pull emotions are ones that always treat a staff member with respect and regard no matter what emotional turbulence we may be experiencing. They always express positivity toward a staff member for something that they’ve done.  “I love this end aisle.”  “Thanks, that really made my day.”  “Great job on this display – it made everyone smile.”  “It’s a pleasure to see such great teamwork!”  Now these emotions are not open ended.  They point to something that was done and pull staff forward to do more of it.  They imply a path of guidance forward that points to the good work we are seeking and focuses energy in positive and productive ways. 

 You are pulling forward the best they have to offer, not pushing them forward without direction.

So, should I express emotions at work?
Yes and no.  

Those “push emotions” – no.  Manage yourself and find ways to deal with your negative emotions in neutral, safe places.  Replace expressing them with solid management skills. We can always make our way to a neutralized place of grace as we lead with providing clarity.   

 
Those “pull emotions” – yes.  Pull your staff forward with your excitement and exuberance of their good efforts and teamwork.  Point the way forward with well-placed acknowledgement and appreciation letting them know that we’re all pulling for the same goals. 

Learning to work with our emotions is a critical managerial skill and staff deserve to know they mattered enough for us to make the effort.  
Be full of heart and strong in spirit,