I’ve often said, compassion is not leniency and longevity is not immunity, and I’m usually talking about managing a staff member.

This statement is also a two-way street.

It has to do with those we manage, and it also has to do with facing up to our own behavior.

There comes a time when we have to say to ourselves that we’re the one who has blown it.

That we are the one who has let a negative employee situation grow and fester.

We can’t keep being “lenient” on ourselves by coming up with a million excuses and reasons for why we shouldn’t have to deal with it, i.e. we’ve inherited the problem. the other departments are even worse, this person might change some day…etc.

And we can’t keep fooling ourselves with the thought that this problem has such longevity that it is not really a problem anymore i.e. just part of the culture around here.

This first step of “coming clean” to ourselves is the first step of dealing with a long term entrenched problem staff member.

My suggestion is that we acknowledge to ourselves and to them that we’ve been a little lax in the past about upholding our managerial responsibility. We own up to our part.

Then, we inform them that this situation is now changing.

Then we embrace our responsibility as a manager and move forward laying out a new program.

Providing clear expectations, clearly defining the gap of their behavior and how we’ll be measuring things in the future.

Remember, we’re basically going back to the start with this person.

Not that we would say this to them but to ourselves we say, ” OK, the past is on me, but now the future is on you.” And give them reasonable time and space to come around.

Don’t knee jerk into extreme action. We’re manageing now, not “getting even” for past problems.

Remember, simple steps and steady effort.

Compassion is not leniency and longevity is not immunity…for us and them.