Y’know this phrase “conflict averse” is really a funny phrase.

We tend to label ourselves (or others)  as “conflict averse” when we are avoiding entering into conversation because we don’t want to rile-up or confront someone.

We often think of ourselves as just not having the will to look someone in the eyes, tell it like it is and stand strong in the face of contrary emotions and upset.

Here is what I think.

When it comes to managing our crew, this phrase should simply not be in our vocabulary.

It’s a bunch of hooey.

Look, we’re all sensitive people (as Marvin Gaye said).  We’re all in a sense conflict averse…it’s OK.

Not one of us wants to enter into a conversation all guarded-up, ready to withstand the unreasonable emotionalized roller coaster that may come at us.  

Let’s reframe this; conflict is simply not part of our management game plan.

Listening, coaching, and providing an opportunity for clarity is our focus. 

It takes 2 or more people to create conflict…and when we meet with an employee, we’re not going to be one of them.

We’re there to help them, not be a sparring partner who holds the trump card.

We’re there to offer them needed information about their performance or behavior. A chance to get clarity.

To provide perspective on what is a successful path at our co-op…simply, what is expected.

We don’t show up ready to wrestle through a conversation to an outcome.  We’re there to provide an opportunity for the employee.    

We’re not right; they’re not wrong.  We’re just there trying to help them make their employment work out.

Conflict averse?  Don’t worry about it…it doesn’t apply.