Sensitivities are on high, things can be perceived to be huge, perspectives can be lost and we can think we are surrounded by growing problems.
Who could blame anyone for feeling this way today?
When our staff come to us in this state, our essential role as leaders is to stand in the breach and be the firewall against runaway fear-driven conclusions and gently help restore perspective.
A warm and calm discussion with a staff member that helps them calibrate to what they actually are experiencing factually is one way that can help.
Here is a conversation that happened this past week that I will share with you that demonstrates how this goes:
Staff: All of the staff are really uncomfortable!
Mgr: When you say all staff are uncomfortable is that everyone on your shift, department, or the whole store?
Staff: Everyone in our department.
Mgr: I know it can feel like everyone in the department. It will help me if we can work to get as accurate as possible, that way I can think about how best to respond. Is it really everyone or if you think about for a minute could it be three quarters, a half, what would be your best guess?
Staff: Well, probably at least 50% anyway. No wait, maybe closer to 30%, some aren’t really uncomfortable they just wish other staff weren’t uncomfortable.
Mgr. Gotcha, that helps a lot. Okay, so about 30% of staff in our department are uncomfortable, and some are uncomfortable about others who are struggling. Of the ones who are uncomfortable what is driving the discomfort?
Staff: Upset and in some cases angry customers.
Mgr: Are the customers unhappy and mad at things we are doing here at the co-op?
Staff: No, they are upset and mad about the pandemic in general. Bad moods. Being down and out.
Mgr: Gotcha. So how many customers are we talking about here that are mad and upset at the pandemic?
Staff: It is not all the customers, many are actually okay with things. But there are a lot, I don’t really know. What do you think?
Mgr: It’s okay to not know, we are just making our best guesses here. If you had to guess what would you say?
Staff: Maybe 10 – 30% of the customers.
Mgr: Ok, that helps, my experience has been maybe 10% – 15 % so this gives us a good gauge. So, it sounds like from your perspective about a third of the staff in our department are uncomfortable with anywhere from 10 – 30% of customers who are upset about the pandemic, do I have that about right?
Staff: Yeah
Mgr: Okay, was this helpful to back up and look at things more specifically and work to calibrate our perspectives?
Staff: Yeah, sometimes it can just feel like everyone is losing it.
Mgr: Yup, I get that. So maybe at our next huddle we can do some perspective building and brainstorming on what some talking points could be when interacting with customers who are unhappy about all that is going on.
Getting on the same page is so important for teams who work together; that means understanding how we are seeing things and testing it up against the accuracy of our experience through the lens of evidence and facts.
This is just one example of how a calibration focused conversational might progress. There are lots of ways to navigate, the key is having compassion for the staff person whose perceptions in the moment can seem mighty real to them.
I hope this helps.