It’s when we’re all caught up emotionally in thinking someone should be different.
They’re doing things we don’t agree with and often we basically just don’t like that! We feel they should change because our life around them would be much better…etc…etc.
Well, Shouldlandia is not a pleasant place to be in and I’ve spent plenty of time there. It’s hard to find a way out. Google maps didn’t help me.
But I finally did find a road out. I call it Curiosity Lane.
I discovered Curiosity Lane when I realized that these people who were making my life miserable were really not making my life anything at all. I was making my life miserable by my own rigidity, judgement and lack of tolerance.
These people were just living their lives the way that their underlying beliefs, values and past conditionings dictate.
Now I’m not talking about way out there stuff like harassment, discrimination and the like but more common “I just don’t like that at all” stuff.
Anyway, when I stopped taking it all personal and thinking “they’re doing this TO ME”! I sincerely became very curious.
Who are they?
What factors went into forming their life?
How do they view the world and what are they after?
I also get curious about myself.
What can I learn from them?
What skills do I need to better navigate this situation?
I still might not agree with how some people operate or ever really want to be around them but I’m freely walking out of Shouldlandia.
I’m free to listen, learn and understand — react and deal with this person in a more mature and responsible way.
So, now whenever I look up and see I’ve gotten into Shouldlandia again I just get my feet moving on Curiosity Lane and I know I’m moving up and out.