I always say “you manage other’s as well as you manage yourself”.

A big part of this “managing ourselves” happens when we find ourselves caught in situations of high emotional turbulence.

These situations could be generated by employees, members, customers, even other managers.

And there we are surrounded by the high winds and waves of upset people, or a person, throwing around lightning bolts of opinions, accusations and desires.

Now’s the time to manage ourselves.

It’s so easy to be swept overboard and join the fray.

Or maybe the opposite, rush in and try to take control by demanding everyone retreat to “their corner” and chill out.

Either way we’re just adding to the emotional pitch.

Here’s my recommendation on how to manage ourselves is this situation.

Become a natural landing pad and clearinghouse for facts.

Keep the conversation moving forward by asking simple questions that lead to specifics that can be verified or corroborated.

Keep our emotions out of it and proceed with small steps that move the conversation toward clarity, transparency and credibility.

What was said; what was heard; what was witnessed; what was rumored.

People will feel our neutral, objective stance and from my experience that calms thing down and folks appreciate and welcome it.

And here’s an important part.

Help make it okay to pause in neutrality or suspend conclusive beliefs or judgement for the time being. Let things rest there until greater clarity can be achieved. Not every conversation has to fully be resolved in a single day.

This allows our conversation to conclude reasonably where we are, and pick it up at a later time.

Try this out and see what you think and remember it all starts with our self management first and that sets the example for others.