One of the hardest things we have to do as a manager is to keep a conversation on track when an employee is provoking the heck out of us.
At the onset, our task is simple – to engage an employee and clarify expectations, receive their acknowledgement of understanding, and get their commitment to meet expectations.
Pretty straightforward, yet with some employees it is not straight forward when all the deflecting, blaming, excuses, justifying, or whatever sidetracks start rolling out of them. We can get pretty tossed around and our simple goal of providing job clarity is now no-where in sight.
We start getting provoked, defending, challenging, and following them along on their sidetracks. We’re all over the map over explaining, counterpointing, and getting frustrated.
Let’s not go there.
Keeping a conversation on track means we don’t follow all those sidetracks.
We keep it on track moving toward our goal: 1. What are the expectations 2. How are they not being met, and 3. Is the employee clear on these points?
Don’t overthink this. When all the sidetracks start up, simply take a breath to give yourself a regroup moment and say, “Okay, let’s take this one step at a time. Are you clear on the expectation that…?”
Don’t go off on the sidetrack tangents with them. Stay focused on expectations and confirm their clarity, then move to what they think they can do to meet expectations. This keeps things steady and on track.
This week I worked with a couple of managers on using this key segue sentence then we roll-played it out.
Even after going over this a few times and even in the safety and calmness of my office they still would follow the sidetracks I role-played.
I see it time and time again…it’s much, much harder than we think to keep a conversation on track.
The solution?
Practice.
Practice until it becomes managerial muscle memory. Take a breath, “Okay, let’s take this one step at a time…”Find a peer manager to role-play with. Role-play all the sidetracks you can think of. Stay with it.
This is a simple redirect phrase that helps our effectiveness as a manager.
Keeping a conversation on track is an important part of our job.
It allows us to show up for the employee with grace and clarity.
Do the work to be ready and steady, it is good for all involved.