We’re all human.

And being human we all share some basic emotional responses to external stimuli.

One of the big ones that I see turning up at our co-ops quite often is this:

 “Ah oh – oh  no! Some staff are upset at me” response.

It usually kicks in after we have changed something like someone’s schedule, implemented new service expectations, or made any kind of decision that affects staff’s life and they are not happy. 

This automatic “ah-oh – oh no” knee-jerk response is usually accompanied by a good stiff wave of jitters and self-doubt.

“Oh no, I want good staff morale and my people to be happy. Am I doing something wrong?  Am I being a bad uncaring and unfeeling boss? I felt I was doing what was right for the co-op but now I’m confused.”

And down we spiral into the rabbit hole. This response has taken the solid ground right out from beneath us.

If I may, I’d like to offer a few viewpoints that might help us get our feet back underneath us.

One.  Someone being upset at us is not a bad thing – it is a human thing. Staff sometimes get disappointed and upset when things go in a direction they wish were different. If we can learn to make room for some staff upset without turning it into something we have done that is bad we will be able to navigate from a much more stable place within ourselves.  

Two.  A knee-jerk emotional response when leading and managing usually doesn’t lead anywhere we want to go. Let’s stop and ask ourselves what response is needed in a case of upset. Sometimes it may just be listening with an understanding heart and moving forward. Other times it may not need our attention and just needs some space while things are moving forward. What we pay attention to grows so it is important we pay attention deliberately not reactively.

Three. We cannot “make” staff be happy nor do we have that responsibility. That responsibility belongs to the employee.  Our responsibility is to provide a positive, well run functional workplace where staff have every opportunity to be happy and some room to resolve their upsets productively. Our focus is how we can all work together to make the co-op better for each other and the community.

Yes we’re all human.  It’s a beautiful thing and one of the most wonderful things about it is that we can learn to turn those knee-jerk emotional responses into positive paths forward that help all involved.