[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” custom_padding=”0px|||||”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/1-1.jpg” _builder_version=”4.9.0″ _module_preset=”default” title_text=”1″ hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″ custom_margin=”|669px||||”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”]<\/p>\n
There is an interesting dynamic that I’ve seen when we deal with certain “difficult people” on our staff.
When we see certain people as “difficult”, from their perspective, they actually see us as the difficult ones in the relationship.
When we see someone with a toxic communication style, they think they are bringing an honest and assertive approach.
When we see someone wreaking havoc, they see themselves as a “change maker”.
When we hold boundaries, they see an uncaring overlord and see themselves as having the moral high ground defending the staff.
This standoff, so to speak, about who is being the difficult one is managerial kryptonite.
So often we clutch.
We freeze, afraid of poking a hornet’s nest; we’re caught in self-doubt.
We tiptoe around hoping to find some way to make them see that they are the “difficult ones” not us.
If we could just make them see, somehow, that they are being difficult and hope that they see the light, come to their senses, and adjust their behavior.
Well, here is the thing.
They see the world their way and that’s quite good enough for them.
There’s no way that you’re going to change someone’s point of view to see things your way.
Here’s the way forward that I see.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Realize that being a manager doesn’t make your point of view any more valid than theirs; however, being a manager does give you the right to determine how these different points of view are expressed and acted out. [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There is an interesting dynamic that I’ve seen when we deal with certain “difficult people” on our staff.When we see certain people as “difficult”, from their perspective, they actually see us as the difficult ones in the relationship.When we see someone with a toxic communication style, they think they are bringing an honest and assertive approach.When we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2181,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\n There is an interesting dynamic that I've seen when we deal with certain \"difficult people\" on our staff. Realize that being a manager doesn't make your point of view any more valid than theirs; however, being a manager does give you the right to determine how these different points of view are expressed and acted out.
This is our job. This is our “managerial space”. This is the space we own.
We’re not battling points of view with anyone. We’re simply informing what works here and what doesn’t. What behavior is acceptable and what isn’t for the co-op as a whole.
Managers — the key word here is to inform<\/strong> – let them know the impact<\/strong> of their work performance and behavior as it relates to the co-op<\/strong>.
With caring, grace and not invalidating the way anybody sees things we can stand confident in our managerial role and say “not here” to any behavior we see as damaging to the co-op – period.
That’s the faith and trust the co-op placed in our hands when we were hired to be a manager.<\/p>\n
When we see certain people as \"difficult\", from their perspective, they actually see us as the difficult ones in the relationship.
When we see someone with a toxic communication style, they think they are bringing an honest and assertive approach.
When we see someone wreaking havoc, they see themselves as a \"change maker\".
When we hold boundaries, they see an uncaring overlord and see themselves as having the moral high ground defending the staff.
This standoff, so to speak, about who is being the difficult one is managerial kryptonite.
So often we clutch.
We freeze, afraid of poking a hornet's nest; we're caught in self-doubt.
We tiptoe around hoping to find some way to make them see that they are the \"difficult ones\" not us.
If we could just make them see, somehow, that they are being difficult and hope that they see the light, come to their senses, and adjust their behavior.
Well, here is the thing.
They see the world their way and that's quite good enough for them.
There's no way that you're going to change someone's point of view to see things your way.
Here's the way forward that I see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is our job. This is our \"managerial space\". This is the space we own.
We're not battling points of view with anyone. We're simply informing what works here and what doesn't. What behavior is acceptable and what isn't for the co-op as a whole.
Managers -- the key word here is to inform<\/strong> - let them know the impact<\/strong> of their work performance and behavior as it relates to the co-op<\/strong>.
With caring, grace and not invalidating the way anybody sees things we can stand confident in our managerial role and say \"not here\" to any behavior we see as damaging to the co-op - period.
That's the faith and trust the co-op placed in our hands when we were hired to be a manager.<\/p>\n","_et_gb_content_width":"1080","footnotes":""},"project_category":[3],"project_tag":[],"class_list":["post-2180","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-m2m"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/project"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2180"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2180\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2183,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2180\/revisions\/2183"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"project_category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project_category?post=2180"},{"taxonomy":"project_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project_tag?post=2180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}