[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Drawing1-1.jpg” _builder_version=”4.9.0″ _module_preset=”default” title_text=”Drawing1″ hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″ width=”37%”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”]<\/p>\n
I had a manager ask me the other day about when to help an employee who says they are overwhelmed in their job…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
They asked, “How can I tell when someone is playing the victim card as opposed to someone who is taking self-responsibility for being overwhelmed and just needs help?”<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n I guess what they’re asking is how do we tell when someone is just being helpless and working it a bit and when someone is legit in seeking support?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n OK, let’s reframe that question by saying it a different way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n “How do I tell the difference between someone who wants to be excused from meeting expectations as opposed to someone who is asking for help in meeting them?”<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now the question almost answers itself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The first side is full of reasons, blaming and excuses from the employee.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The latter side is looking for help in finding solutions.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Or let’s strip it down to the bone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n One person is just spinning within themselves and the other is concerned with a larger picture.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now then, the next question is, “How do I <\/em>deal with this<\/em>?”<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Well, what I would say is either way we are aiming toward expectations, supporting self-responsibility, and keeping the whole team in mind.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n For the one who wants reprieve from expectations we manage.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n We keep the focus on expectations with grace and neutrality and ask them what ideas they have for how they can meet expectations given their stated challenges. We’re keeping good records of communications and walk the basic steps of performance management.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n For the other we might coach.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n We offer feedback on mindsets, provide training or retraining, we listen for structures or procedures that aren’t working. Here we are partnering, setting up timetables and goals. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Of course, it gets a little blurry most of the time between these two and yet part of our job as managers is to make the call which way things are leaning and move forward with our best judgement and discretion. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n One thing that can help is the clarity in knowing where the responsibility lies for what.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Our responsibility is to provide the tools, training, systems, and clarity of expectations so an employee can be successful in their employment. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n An employee’s responsibility is to manage their lives in a way that allows them to meet the co-op’s expectations as opposed to expecting the co-op to lower expectations. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was an interesting question and a good one to think about.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I had a manager ask me the other day about when to help an employee who says they are overwhelmed in their job… They asked, “How can I tell when someone is playing the victim card as opposed to someone who is taking self-responsibility for being overwhelmed and just needs help?” I guess what they’re asking is how […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2096,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\n I had a manager ask me the other day about when to help an employee who says they are overwhelmed in their job...<\/p>\n\n\n\n They asked, \"How can I tell when someone is playing the victim card as opposed to someone who is taking self-responsibility for being overwhelmed and just needs help?\"<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I guess what they're asking is how do we tell when someone is just being helpless and working it a bit and when someone is legit in seeking support?<\/p>\n\n\n\n OK, let's reframe that question by saying it a different way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \"How do I tell the difference between someone who wants to be excused from meeting expectations as opposed to someone who is asking for help in meeting them?\"<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Now the question almost answers itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first side is full of reasons, blaming and excuses from the employee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The latter side is looking for help in finding solutions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or let's strip it down to the bone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One person is just spinning within themselves and the other is concerned with a larger picture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now then, the next question is, \"How do I <\/em>deal with this<\/em>?\"<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, what I would say is either way we are aiming toward expectations, supporting self-responsibility, and keeping the whole team in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For the one who wants reprieve from expectations we manage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We keep the focus on expectations with grace and neutrality and ask them what ideas they have for how they can meet expectations given their stated challenges. We're keeping good records of communications and walk the basic steps of performance management.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For the other we might coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We offer feedback on mindsets, provide training or retraining, we listen for structures or procedures that aren't working. Here we are partnering, setting up timetables and goals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, it gets a little blurry most of the time between these two and yet part of our job as managers is to make the call which way things are leaning and move forward with our best judgement and discretion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n One thing that can help is the clarity in knowing where the responsibility lies for what.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Our responsibility is to provide the tools, training, systems, and clarity of expectations so an employee can be successful in their employment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n An employee's responsibility is to manage their lives in a way that allows them to meet the co-op's expectations as opposed to expecting the co-op to lower expectations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It was an interesting question and a good one to think about.<\/p>\n","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[3],"project_tag":[],"class_list":["post-2095","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-m2m"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/project"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2095"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2098,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2095\/revisions\/2098"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2096"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"project_category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project_category?post=2095"},{"taxonomy":"project_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project_tag?post=2095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}