[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Drawing1-1.jpg” _builder_version=”4.9.0″ _module_preset=”default” title_text=”Drawing1″ hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″ width=”34%”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”]<\/p>\n
There are a few ideas we carry with us that can become mental quicksand when dealing with people. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Yes, if someone is not doing their job or they are behaving outside of established conduct guidelines, that’s an accountability issue, and we deal with it professionally. <\/p>\n But many times when we need someone to change it’s more about personalities, styles, and points of view, and as I said, just cranking on them to change or moving them out will not inherently make anything better. [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There are a few ideas we carry with us that can become mental quicksand when dealing with people.One is: “If we can just get things to change, things will be better.”It plays out in many ways such as, “If this person just quits and isn’t here, things will get better.””If I can get them to change their annoying personality, things will […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2023,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\n There are a few ideas we carry with us that can become mental quicksand when dealing with people. Yes, if someone is not doing their job or they are behaving outside of established conduct guidelines, that's an accountability issue, and we deal with it professionally.
One is: “If we can just get things to change, things will be better.”<\/em>It plays out in many ways such as,
“If this person just quits and isn’t here, things will get better.”<\/em>“If I can get them to change their annoying personality, things will get better.”<\/em>Or maybe,
“If I just change my team, things will get better.”<\/em>
Well, here’s the thing…there is not an inherent quality-improving dynamic built into change.
If left alone, things will not get better; they will just get different.
We can get caught in the never-ending merry-go-round of changing things and being shocked that things aren’t getting better.
Now stay with me on this…
The best way to get things better is to let go of our need for things or people to change.
If we approach someone as needing to change, we’ve closed off pathways of acceptance, support and connection.
These are the tools to make things better not “get rid of them and get a new one – I’m sure that will make it better”.<\/em><\/p>\n
When we equate change with improvement and that’s our method of dealing with situations, we’ll never get there. We’re throwing things into a wishful-thinking future.
But when we equate improvement with accepting the here-and-now and learning the skills to adjust, be flexible, and be creative in pathways of interaction, that’s how things get better.
The idea: I just wish people would change and things will get better<\/em>… is a convenient way of thinking that leads us away from doing the work it takes to connect well with others. The idea: Let’s accept those we work with and find ways to get work done together even with our differences<\/em>…Is the skillful way that leads to positive change while also relying on accountability to do its work when needed.
Great to be connecting with you,<\/p>\n
One is: \"If we can just get things to change, things will be better.\"<\/em>It plays out in many ways such as,
\"If this person just quits and isn't here, things will get better.\"<\/em>\"If I can get them to change their annoying personality, things will get better.\"<\/em>Or maybe,
\"If I just change my team, things will get better.\"<\/em>
Well, here's the thing...there is not an inherent quality-improving dynamic built into change.
If left alone, things will not get better; they will just get different.
We can get caught in the never-ending merry-go-round of changing things and being shocked that things aren't getting better.
Now stay with me on this...
The best way to get things better is to let go of our need for things or people to change.
If we approach someone as needing to change, we've closed off pathways of acceptance, support and connection.
These are the tools to make things better not \"get rid of them and get a new one - I'm sure that will make it better\".<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
But many times when we need someone to change it's more about personalities, styles, and points of view, and as I said, just cranking on them to change or moving them out will not inherently make anything better.
When we equate change with improvement and that's our method of dealing with situations, we'll never get there. We're throwing things into a wishful-thinking future.
But when we equate improvement with accepting the here-and-now and learning the skills to adjust, be flexible, and be creative in pathways of interaction, that's how things get better.
The idea: I just wish people would change and things will get better<\/em>... is a convenient way of thinking that leads us away from doing the work it takes to connect well with others. The idea: Let's accept those we work with and find ways to get work done together even with our differences<\/em>...Is the skillful way that leads to positive change while also relying on accountability to do its work when needed.
Great to be connecting with you,<\/p>\n","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[3],"project_tag":[],"class_list":["post-2022","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-m2m"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/project"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2022"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2022\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2025,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2022\/revisions\/2025"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2023"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"project_category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project_category?post=2022"},{"taxonomy":"project_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/merrimanmanagementsupport.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project_tag?post=2022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}